Like Everyone Around Me

I ask my mom for money she don´t really have to buy me clothes and shoes to impress everyone around me. I spend an hour each day painting my face and smoothing my hair to look just like everyone around me. My Bible rests on my nightstand, no time to read or pray but I have time to watch the shows and bop to the music of everyone around me. I found a website with pictures of everything I want and another one from a ministry with pictures of children who have no shoes. They wear tattered clothes and rejoice for a bowl of rice, but their smiles glowed with a beauty unlike everyone around me. It struck me. I don´t rejoice; I want. I´m anxious, disconten, jealous and insecure. I suddenly remembered, that I was one of them. I changed myself  to be like everyone around me. I changed my happiness and joy to be like everyone around me. I tried to be like everyone around me. I tried to be someone who was not me. I fell to my knees and cried in pain. I let the Holy Spirit speak to me, "Be like me; Be like me," And suddenly I didn´t want to be like everyone around me. I want to be like Him. 

 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.                                                                                                                                                                    2 Corinthians 3:18

God bless you!

I Made a Mistake, And Now What?

  It´s been a month since I left Refuge Ranch. It´s been a month since I thought I knew better than God. It's been a month since I made the biggest mistake of my life. I decided to do what I wanted, leaving God out of my life. Being young can be difficult and sometimes confusing. Everyone is different, every head is a different world. But no matter where we go or what we do, God will always be there with and for us. I'm young, and like all of my age, we all think that we know everything, and sometimes we think that we know better than God. You may be thinking. What do you mean? I'll tell you what I mean. I´m just seventeen years old, and I made the mistake of thinking that I knew better than God and better than my parents! Here's the story. I mean, part of my story that has made me grow in many ways. A few months ago, I got tired of waiting and waiting to leave my house and make my life. I know that sounds silly, but that's how I started to make mistakes over and over again. instead of waiting and trusting God I decided to go, and do what I wanted. Instead of knowing more about God, I knew more about novels. Instead of honoring my parents, I dishonor them. Instead of giving a good example to my brothers and sisters, I did the opposite. Now, I feel alone, I lost everything I had for trusting in myself and for thinking that I could control my life. Now, I´m with my biological mother, instead of being with the person that I consider my mother. I made a mistake, and now what? I´ll tell you what!. ¨ Today I will get up. I will lift up my eyes on the horizon. Attentively contemplate my past. and learn from each of my falls ¨ I´ve decided. ¨No more poison coming out of my mouth.
No more doubts about God. No more wanting to do what I want.¨ And all because. I left many broken hearts back home, and a mother who prays like this. 
     ¨Oh Lord, please make her come. No matter how difficult it may be, you said that nothing is impossible when you believe. Oh Lord, please take care of her, wherever she is. This life can be hard. I have no doubt that you can touch her heart and make her come.´¨ MAKE HER COME!
It is true, I made a huge mistake, and that´s why I´m writing this little story so that you don´t do exactly what I did. Remember, you don´t know what you have, until you lose it! So, I know you´ve made a mistake, but NOW WHAT?  
 
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
                              Psalms 103:3


                                                                                                                          By: *Diana Zaragoza*
 

God is faithful

Hello brothers and sisters,
I ask an apology for not writing sooner. What happens is that it takes me a  long time to write because I have to think in English.
I want to tell you that many things have happened. As you know, December 10th was my birthday, and like every year, many thoughts come to mind. I remember my past and everything that happened to me. I know that my birthday should be something to rejoice, but there is so much I have to heal. For example, I do not like the idea of having to spend a weekend with my birth mother, I hate having to look into her eyes and see the pain she has in her heart. I hate having to remember everything I saw, heard and lived with her. My mom (Julie) told me I have to allow God to restore my life and heal the wounds in my heart. But guess what? I did not listen to her and I thought she was crazy. But, she is right! Time is passing, and I am realizing that while I'm stupid and I keep resisting for God to heal my heart, Satan is having a party.He is making fun of me,  of my pain and I'm sure he is saying, ¨ If I could not see her prostituting on the streets, taking drugs, drinking beer and dead, I´ll see her suffering every time she remembers her past. Where she came from and what her God allowed to happen¨ I can hardly recognize that God allowed everything that happens, because He is faithful and I know He has something wonderful for my life. Satan can no longer harm me because I am a child of God. He is my Savior, my Refuge, my Strength, my Life, my Lord, my all.  The Bible says ¨I know, O LORD, that thy judgments are right,  And that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me. Psalm 119:75¨   
   Don't  you think it is wonderful that God loves us so much that in His loyalty He  afflicted us so that we can grow? I think so. God is so great that he knows what is best for us. He loved me first, so I must love my mom. He  forgave me first, so I must do the same thing to her. God died for all people, He loved the whole world.He makes the sun rise for fair and bad people. He sent his Son Jesus to pay for the sins of all people.  So why not love those who hurt me? It is very difficult to accept that I have to love and forgive my mom, but  I know is the right thing to do.  I do not promise that I will not think about my past. But I do promise that I will not let Satan use my past to hurt me. No, not anymore. I ask you guys to pray for me and my family. God is good with us, we are great here at the Refuge, but we (all of us) need God to heal our hearts, so that we can be and do what He wants us to be and do.
Love you guys lots, God bless you and your families.
Diana♥
   

Preaching the Gospel

This weekend, I went to my best friend house. She told me we were going to talk about Jesus to other people next day. So we went to share the love of Jesus. I am surprised, because I had all kinds of people. Some of them, with an open heart and willing to listen, others simply turned their backs on us and ignore us. However, we gave them a smile so they could see the love of Jesus. This encouraged me to continue preparing so one day I could  help many people. I learned that you can show the love of God in many ways, not just say "Jesus loves you" but show it.. You may be surprised when  you give them a sincere smile, they might believe in a living God, our God. I encourage you to always show the love of Jesus to all people. Maybe sometimes you feel like you do not want to smile, but if you do, you can make the other person smile. I am very happy to share this, I will smile no matter the situation I'm in.. God Bless you very much. and remember, *SMILE* 

My Wonderful Father

Hello, This week has been a wonderful week.. You might wonder why? The reason is that it is  incredible how a parent can influence in your life. For me it has been hard not to think about my biological father, I've never seen  him in my life. Sometimes I have crazy ideas like wanting to go and see him, ask him why he did what he did. But this week I learned something very important, I learned  about Joseph and his brothers. Everything bad that his brothers did to him, was for something wonderful. All this was within God's plans. I learned that everything bad that happened to me was for something wonderful, Today I have a father, a wonderful one,  one who loves me and I love him with all my heart. Maybe I don't know my biological father, but I have a wonderful one,  and that's better than nothing. You see? I have a wonderful father. God bless you...
 

What Faith Can Do

Have you ever noticed what a little faith can do? If not, let me tell you that I've seen what a little faith can do. I've seen miracles in the lives of every member of my family. You might wonder why? But the truth is that each of them is a miracle. We were in the clutches of Satan, but our God rescued us and put us in a home. We were without parents, without attention, without food, without clothes, without love. But with a little faith, Jesus brought us out of where we were. He is my hero, my best friend. I thank God for the life of every member of my family. They are a miracle. I love getting up every morning and know that I have another day to enjoy them. You may not know what I'm talking about, but if you keep reading my blogs, you will know what a little faith can do. God bless you.